Yes, Emma, the naughty list is a real

Took Zeph to preschool on Tuesday morning to have the teacher's somber looking face address me "May I speak with you in the hallway?" Oh crap.

Apparently my 5 year old is the ringleader of chaos in the preschool classroom. The teachers reprimand him, but the problem is "He doesn't seem to care." Oh crap.

She was clearly looking for ammunition, so I told her to threaten him with losing his bike and/or playing outside at home. Showing off his stuntman abilities for the neighborhood is his bread and butter. This should work.

I pick him up, ask the afternoon teacher. Verdict: Guilty. Oh crap.
The prisoner is sentenced to an evening spent in his room. He is only allowed to emerge for dinner and shower. Tough love. He will remember this.

Next morning I force him to inform the teacher of his punishment. I put on the very "Awesome Mother" display as I instruct my son to make good choices.

Afternoon pickup time. Here comes my angelic child "I was NOT on the naughty list!" I beam proudly to the teacher....(insert sound of balloon deflating here). "Um... he is on the list. He hit his sister on the playground and ran away from the teacher." Oh crap.

My son is now bawling because I told him he would go to bed with no dinner. I am debating on if that is legal. Instead I load up the kids and take them all to Sonic. He is not allowed to order. I let them get kids meals (which i NEVER do) plus ice cream. The prisoner sits quietly. This had better be working because I feel so bad for him.

At home he silently pads to his room. An hour passes. Dinner is so quiet and calm. Hmm. Its killing me. I take him down a piece of bread with peanut butter and a glass of tap water. (This was in the warden manual.) He is allowed to come up for a shower and then back to bed. No toys. Lights out.

At 8 I go to gauge his emotional stability. He is sweetly in his bed in the dark. His halo is shining in the glow of his nightlight. He is not sleeping. I go to kiss him goodnight.

"Mom, when I'm finally off the naughty list, do you think we can get a doughnut?"

This punishment does not appear to be working. Oh crap.