Weekend Shopping List

Camera batteries:

Zeph has passed preschool and will be receiving his diploma at graduation tonight. Thankfully he was NOT on the naughty list, so he can celebrate with cake instead of his usual bread and water.

Fabric paint:

Junah and I have a date to make t-shirts. I'm looking forward to seeing what he comes up with. His view of the world is one of my favorite channels to watch.

Hair dye:

I took the scissors to my hair again last night. With inspiring internet photos and some tips from youtube... I am loving my pixie cut. It might need a splash of color later.

Paper lunch bag:

Trinity has to make a puppet to retell a book she read for a school assignment. (I love crafts.) Instead of her TeenBeat about Justin Bieber, she read a Mexican version of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. She has been practicing saying "Chupacabra." Its hilarious.

Ear plugs:

Kainon and Savannah like totally different types of music. They blare it on the living room computer (best speakers) during our weekend grill outs. Its not really the volume that gets to me but the mental switch between his rock and her hip hop, while simultaneously staying on my A game to censor / veto their selections.

Food:

These kids must be going through a growth spurt because they can EAT. Wrigley will be at a birthday-skate-sleepover the majority of the weekend so that keeps some of the stash safe. But when one kid goes, we tend to acquire a few more. Kainon is having a friend over. Our friends usually show up with their kids on Friday nights too for weekly basketball and grill outs. I love summer.

Ibuprofen:

No explanation needed.

Yes, Emma, the naughty list is a real

Took Zeph to preschool on Tuesday morning to have the teacher's somber looking face address me "May I speak with you in the hallway?" Oh crap.

Apparently my 5 year old is the ringleader of chaos in the preschool classroom. The teachers reprimand him, but the problem is "He doesn't seem to care." Oh crap.

She was clearly looking for ammunition, so I told her to threaten him with losing his bike and/or playing outside at home. Showing off his stuntman abilities for the neighborhood is his bread and butter. This should work.

I pick him up, ask the afternoon teacher. Verdict: Guilty. Oh crap.
The prisoner is sentenced to an evening spent in his room. He is only allowed to emerge for dinner and shower. Tough love. He will remember this.

Next morning I force him to inform the teacher of his punishment. I put on the very "Awesome Mother" display as I instruct my son to make good choices.

Afternoon pickup time. Here comes my angelic child "I was NOT on the naughty list!" I beam proudly to the teacher....(insert sound of balloon deflating here). "Um... he is on the list. He hit his sister on the playground and ran away from the teacher." Oh crap.

My son is now bawling because I told him he would go to bed with no dinner. I am debating on if that is legal. Instead I load up the kids and take them all to Sonic. He is not allowed to order. I let them get kids meals (which i NEVER do) plus ice cream. The prisoner sits quietly. This had better be working because I feel so bad for him.

At home he silently pads to his room. An hour passes. Dinner is so quiet and calm. Hmm. Its killing me. I take him down a piece of bread with peanut butter and a glass of tap water. (This was in the warden manual.) He is allowed to come up for a shower and then back to bed. No toys. Lights out.

At 8 I go to gauge his emotional stability. He is sweetly in his bed in the dark. His halo is shining in the glow of his nightlight. He is not sleeping. I go to kiss him goodnight.

"Mom, when I'm finally off the naughty list, do you think we can get a doughnut?"

This punishment does not appear to be working. Oh crap.

can we just restart the game from scratch?

I'm struggling today. Power issues. Control issues. Issues with lacking power. Issues with lacking control.

Work: My boss is a jerk. She can do many things right, but her management skills are nil. I hate that she was appointed my superior when I feel she is not qualified, nor is anyone training her to be in management. She holds many aspects of my work life in her clutches but carelessly dangles them oblivious to the pit that is below me. Okay, that was dramatic. I just don't like her.

Kids: The kids have spring fever. Miah is spazzing out (which means she's happy, but its still annoying.) Trinity has lost total interest in anything school related and motivating her to do homework or even get up to ride the bus is a chore. Zeph is the king of the "naughty list" at daycare for the past week and a half. He spent all of last night in his room other than his passes to eat dinner and shower. Savannah is just (barely) going through the motions of school. If it weren't for her being pleasant to be around at dinner and her silliness in playing with the others,
I would classify her as a train wreck. We can lead a girl to therapy but can't make her drink...

I'm frustrated that I can't just plug in my little robots so they will rise, shine, succeed, smile and start over again repeatedly. (Yes, I'm aware that would be boring and I would miss their quirks, but blogging doesn't require me to be logical or rational.)

Exes: Jason shares three children with his ex-wife. They will always have that tie. I understand it, and respect it (except on those days where I'm not logical or rational). The ties to my own ex are nearly completely severed, but it is still there for eternity. (ugh) The fact that our previous lives will always affect our current life is sometimes hard to swallow, especially in regards to the children.

My kids still have their birth father's name legally attached to them. That means confusion when in our family of 9 looks like this: 1) Jason has his own last name. 2) I have my maiden last name, which I'm keeping always, 3) Sis has her dad, Jason's last name, 4) Kainon has my maiden last name, 5) Wrigley has his dad, Jason's last name, 6) Miah has her birth dad's last name, and interchanges calling Jason by his name or "Dad" 7) Junah has his dad, Jason's last name, 8 and 9) Trinity and Zeph presently have their birth dad's last name, but they consider Jason "Dad" and introduce him as such.... Follow all that? It is a big blended record of where we've all been and where we are now.

Parenting Jason's three is difficult for me because no matter how much time/effort I put in, I can always be trumped with "you're not the mother." Granted this is a common step-parent plight, but when Sis lives with us full time, yet her mom is 10 minutes away, it seems more in my face. For example, Sis missed school when she was visiting mom's. Jason and I have rules/consequences for this, but we can only enforce it when she is at our house. We can't control what her mom chooses to implement for punishment, but that choice still affects our household when she comes back. The four other kids that live with us want to know why she could skip school and then still be at friends' all weekend. Granted she is still grounded once she is home, but the inconsistency is hard to explain (and swallow.)

I'm not making any sense. That is a common repercussion to frustration.

Love my family. Love my Jason. Not loving this arrangement. Not really loving this blog post either.

(I'm going to put a rockin' playlist on my iPod. That should help my mood.)

i read a book

I have joined a pseudo-book-club-type-thing started by Joy at freckletree (map to her at stage left or is stage left really meaning your right? i forget). I read Post Office by Charles Bukowski and I'm trying to decide how I feel about it so that I can join in with some intelligent discussion.

Lets see... I liked that it was short. I was able to read it quickly in my limited free time and therefore felt a sense of accomplishment and relatively immediate gratification.

The book is about a loser, Henry Chinaski, that has two terms with the post office in the duration of his wasteful existence, hence the title. He drinks, smokes, sleeps around and says "stick it to the man" with his careless attitude. That's basically all the book has to offer. No real moral to the story and no warm fuzzy feeling. If you dig REALLY deep you can see that the character has the ability to not be a total chauvinistic, sado-masochistic a**hole, but looking that hard made my head hurt. And I don't really feel the character is worth that much thought. Instead I live vicariously when he tells the boss to shove it and I smile. I enjoy the warmth of my home more when I read about the dumps he lives in and the sad relationships he has with various floozies.

Henry is a character. And he gets right to the point with his dialogue and actions. No bs. I guess I found an admirable quality in him after all.

And as much as I dislike him as a person I would probably pick up another tale about him. So, he's a loser and I am a hypocrite.

I came home after work. Inhaled and picked up my Sharpie. I made the following signs and taped them onto all of the bedroom doors:

Our bedroom: DID YOU KNOCK FIRST?

Hi. My name is Savannah. I will not leave my bag, shoes, purse, books and t-shirt on the living room floor when I get home from school because I realize this is rude considering I have a nice big bedroom with a corner just for my school stuff. I am good at pairing socks while being on the computer because I am learning to multitask.

Hi. My name is Trinity. I will show my parents ALL of my school papers everyday and turn in my homework on time because I want everyone to know how smart I am. I realize that I want to make it to 2nd grade and not live with my parents forever. I am very helpful around the house.

Hi. My name is Miah. I will keep my room clean and uncluttered because it will show my gratitude for having my own bedroom. I will treat my belongings with respect because no one will want to give me things if I trash them. I am very good at cleaning the bathrooms.

(working my way to the basement bedrooms...)

Hi. My name is Zeph. I will not whine, backtalk or roll my eyes when my parents give me instruction. That would be rude and they would not want to play basketball with a disrespectful child. I give great hugs.

Hi. My name is Kainon. I will ask permission BEFORE I make plans or let my friends raid the kitchen. I realize that my parents are allowed to have a life on the weekends too and they work hard to provide for everyone. I will show them respect and gratitude for all they do for me. I can carry a lot of trash bags at one time.

I didn't get to Wrig and Junah's room because they weren't with me last night but they have a sign on their door that Junah made:

DO NOT ENTER unless you are Kainon because there will be no time-outs ONLY DEATH.

Feel the love.

Toosdee

I borrowed this exercise from JB at Perplume's Blog... It seemed like a Random Tuesday type activity. (I would link her blog, but I'm not very good at this. Instead if you would glance to the left of my page you will find a handy link there. Please keep all hands and feet in the car until we come to a complete stop. Thank you.)

1. When do you feel happiest?
At the end of the day, when the kids are all safely asleep (which means I didn't kill anyone), Jason and I can sit on our $18 porch swing, drink our Dunkin' Donuts coffee, snuggle and talk. I love our family, but after a busy day of work, dinner, homework, playtime, chores, baths and bedtime routines... its much easier to remember how much you love your life when the day is done.

2. How do you take care of yourself?
I take hot showers when I need a Calgon moment. I have date night on a regular basis. I play. Playing is the key to my happiness. It makes me a better parent. It makes me happier. I love to dance and be a dork. I love crafts, games, park swings, and pretend.
I think I should put play-doh in my purse. Never know when that will be handy.

3. Are you internally (by yourself) or externally (by others) motivated?
Motivated by myself almost to a fault. I am the one who can’t sit down because the laundry, dishes and repainting of the house is not done. I get a wild hair that won’t let me relax because I haven’t alphabetized our DVDs.

4. What do you do for fun?
See answers to #1 and #2... in addition, I blog, blab and read.

5. What intimidates you?
The negative impact other people and the world have on my kids. I want to put them in a bubble that will teach them to be cool, resourceful, kind, challenging, empathetic, and clean.

6. What is something you are proud of?
My ability to multi-task. I should learn to juggle. I am also proud of my children, and the people in my life who continue to be awesome even with that whole negative world thing going on.

7. Finish this sentence: I never ______
Lack for something to do. Or eat mustard.

8. Favorite vacation spot?
Don’t know. Portland was fun and gorgeous.. I think this is a trick question. I like cemeteries and I like going somewhere that isn’t my house because I don’t feel compelled to clean or fret over that DVD situation.

9. Today is a (rate from 1-10)
8/10. I accomplished a lot at work. I have a somewhat relaxing evening to look forward to. Taking off points because I don’t’ really feel comfortable in this outfit I have on today.

10.Finish this sentence: If you knew me well you'd know ________
How much I love M J. Fox, the importance of Edie in my life, my fondness for oranges and lollipops, that my mind doesn’t turn off much and when its on its flipping channels frequently.

My hands hurt.

My washing machine stopped working on Saturday. It wouldn't drain or spin. This is a SERIOUS problem when you have a family of 9 and you are already two days behind on laundry. We now have a two car garage that is half car and half laundry piles. Ugh. Jason started flipping through his mental Rolodex of repairmen, but I stopped him from calling anyone. I am not paying $200 for someone to look at my awesome garage sale appliance. (granted it was only 2 years old when I bought it) So, I took it upon myself to disassemble our washer.

One hour and 47 curse words later I found the culprit. The piece should cost less than $5, so that makes me very happy. There was not a parts store open on a Sunday afternoon, so I will stop myself from celebrating this momentous achievement prematurely. (I will celebrate tomorrow when the washer is back together.) However, there is still much to raise a glass to.

1) My children are learning that clean underwear and socks is a luxury. We were all thankful that it was warm enough this weekend to wear flip flops and sandals.

2) Jason is awesome. He made lunch for the kiddos and kept them out of my hair while I worked on the washer. He is highly capable of working on an appliance, but he didn't assume that I couldn't just because I was born with ovaries. He offered assistance if needed, brought me a few tools and then proudly bragged to our neighbors about my handiwork. Love that man... and he looks hot in an apron.

3) I have a new respect for my washer. It works hard. It dutifully washes a LARGE amount of items without much of a squeak or even a burning smell. It is large capacity. These are wonderful words. Lets say it again "LARGE CAPACITY."

4) We made laundry fun. By evening, I was exhausted and we were still without socks. So Jason and I bathed and tucked in kids, then we snuck off to the laundromat. It was empty! We loaded up four (small capacity) washing machines and proceeded to read celebrity gossip magazines to each other. We ate some convenient store snacks and enjoyed each others company. A date night on a Sunday.

My life is good and I'm wearing clean underwear.

8pm / 7pm Central

Miah: We need to have a family meeting
(Wherein, Jason and I gulp, but after peeking at Miah's "meeting notes" we decide to proceed.)

We gather 6 of the children. Child #7 was sent to her room upon arrival at home for not doing her homework two days in a row and thankfully she fell asleep.

Miah: Ahem... (reads the following speech)


Ladies and gentlemen, I will be holding a contest on earth day. Everyone will write a speech on why it is good to recycle. The due date is Earth Day, April 22, and you will read your speeches out loud. If you do not want to compete please visit my office/room.

Miah continues: The judges will be our work and jobs. We will take turns taking all of our speeches to our jobs or classes to get votes.
Wrig: What if we just write down names of people and say they voted?
Miah: Then you are a cheater.
Sav: I will do this. I like to write when I don't have to. How long does it have to be?
Wrig: Can this be a skate contest?
Sav: Wrig, be quiet i have a legit question: If we lose is there going to be any crying about it? (Sis knows that Miah has emotional breakdowns.)
Miah: no crying.
Mom: I will take it to work. My friends would love to vote.
Kainon: What are you talking about? (He is on youtube and not really paying attention.)
Junah: No one is listening to me talk.
Zeph: I can't write.
Jason: Uh (still in shock from a long day at work, had not transitioned to family mode fully yet)
Sav: Trin will do it if I do it. I will tell her to do it.
Junah: Why is no one listening to me talk.
Miah: There are too many questions. Come to my office if you'd like a conference.
Wrig: I don't want to do this.
Miah: Then let me go get your contract. You'll have to sign it.
Wrig: Talk to my people.

The tv was never turned on tonight.

Because its Tuesday and Because I can

My husband to be shares a very strong resemblance to Boris Becker. I was camper of the week at Tennis Camp. Proof we were meant to be.

The flower thing is my hair fascinator. I love it. I dissected and reconstructed with two artifical flowers (which are amazingly lifelike), a quail feather thing I found, the extra beads and sequins off of my dress, some Elmers spray glue and a some $1.39/yard tulle that I'm trying to make a veil thing with. Have I said I love it? Because I love it.

J and I go to Scooters alot. They know us there. Our local stop told us they are inventing a drink for us. I think thats adorable. Hope it doesn't suck. No hazelnut for me, no coconut for J.

Hubba Bubba hands down makes the best bubbles and has the best flavor in the bubble blowing gum genre.

I feel crafty. I think I will try to concoct a version of a bouquet made from an old book. I've seen a few online, but I prefer to cut, glue, paint with my own little twist. If I fail, I will just assign the kids to pick some flowers out of the ditch right before the ceremony.

I think this picture is appealing to look at, even if you're not on any drugs.

my daughter is weird, and we like it

Miss Miah turned nine yesterday and I think she had a very good birthday. I always worry on the kids' birthdays about balancing the urge to create a special day for them while not doing anything too over the top or materialistic. I think we succeeded. Miah helped us out by creating a 15 line item wish list. Here are some of those items, in no particular order:

1) a real panda

2) a weekend at Nana's

3) a pineapple

4) a lifetime of happiness

5) Roald Dahl books

6) a tent in my room

This is the girl who loves China, pandas, short stories. She planted a cabbage in the back yard and cried sincerely when a rabbit ate it. Then cried again because she felt bad for being angry at the rabbit.

This is the girl who hosted a "Earth Day Birthday" party last year with trash scavenger hunts, planting flowers and watching TLC Planet Earth from a tent in the living room with girls from school. One girl said "It was hard to find a present for Miah because I told my mom that she doesn't like Hannah Montana and stuff. She just likes China."

This is also the girl who tends to completely SPAZ out when she is happy because being so free is often foreign to her. She is more often the emotional artist. But she was sincerely all smiles. She went to Nana's for the weekend where she wore her non-matching striped toe socks and roller skates all weekend. Her big brother went to the movies with her and a friend. We gave her a video game that teaches her Chinese, some shoes, some Roald Dahl books and... a pineapple.

I am very interested to know this girl as an adult. I think often about the struggles she will have to overcome because of how observant, introspective and emotionally intelligent she is. But then I imagine her coming back home to visit and having late night talks in the dark over coffee (or green tea). She fascinates me.

security blanket

Savannah has an issue with going to school. She's been to therapy. She's been on medication. She's had tutors. She's tried alternative schools and different school districts. Since January she has gone to our school district, with mostly success. I had been taking her to school and she would ride the bus home. Then she started "lollygagging" in the morning and Jason started taking her because I couldn't be late to work. She had an anxiety attack one busy morning and again didn't want to go to school that day. Our stance is "you need life skills, you will take the bus to school from now on." All our other kids ride a bus in the morning that stops at our corner, and Sis rides the bus home. Therefore, all logic says this is not unreasonable.

The first two bus days she would not go outside to the corner. We went to work and left her to fend for herself. She managed to get her mom to come drive her to school on her way to work. We weren't happy about this arrangement because she wasn't facing her bus issues, but we figured she is being resourceful. We didn't say much. After a few times, her mom agreed that she needed to ride the bus. You could see the panic set in.

The night before school we gave her one of our parental lecture/pep talks. Sis agreed that she doesn't have a problem with the bus, but has stress about standing alone outside. I told her she could stand with Trinity and the others because their bus comes just a few minutes before the high school bus. "AH!" Sis seemed relieved. She was up, ready and out at the corner. I sent Zeph to sit on the front step as my spy. He was giving me play by play as I finished getting ready for work...

"Mom, the first bus is gone."
"Sissy's bus hasn't come yet."
"Mom, still no bus."
"Mom, is it supposed to take this long?"
"Mom, she looks nervous."
"That's it I'M GOING."

And off he went... I peeked out the bedroom window to see my 5 year old holding hands with his big sister. I could see her relief. I could see him distracting her by chattering away talk talk talk. And here comes the bus. She let go of his hand and he came running back in.

"Mom, we can go now. I put her on the bus."
*Go ahead, wipe your tears. I just did. I'm a sap.

I'm not dead

Hope you missed me. I like blogging. I like reading other blogs and commenting. I like scanning Facebook to see what everyone is up to. But I was noticing that I was getting a little compulsive. So, much like someone who likes to drink stops drinking for a gut check "am I an alcoholic" I stepped away from my web world a bit. I didn't go cold turkey. I am still doing wedding planning/inviting via internet. But after a week I do feel confident that I am in control of my blog addiction, um I mean... hobby. Experiment over.

So this week where have I been?:

1) Working a lot. I am trying to get far enough out that I can be guilt free when I take time off in the fall.

2) Outside. Its FINALLY feeling like spring so I've spent as much time as possible outside. This means reading on the porch swing, playing basketball. This also means that Zeph is covered with cuts and bruises. I explained to the daycare why I shouldn't be turned into social services for child abuse. Zeph crashed his scooter which meant roadrash on his side and on his arm. An hour later when he was warned not to walk in front of the swingset (when he was actually busted trying to poke his swinging sister in the foot with a stick), he was kicked in the face by a flying foot. He has a cut above his eye, on his nose, and a semi swollen eye. All of this shows up like a neon sign because of his albino-esque skin coloring as well.

3) Crafting. I made my fascinator for the wedding AND IT ROCKS! These suckers cost anywhere from $30 to $170 online, but I made mine for less than 10 bucks. And I love it. I am trying to put together a veil too with tulle and some spray glue. Its coming along.

4) Parenting. Duh.

See you tomorrow bloggers.