And gosh darnit, people like me.

The sun is out. I want to curl up and nap in it like a cat. I'm not even tired, but cats look so zen when they do that.

I am ignoring the fact that my hair resembles Justin Bieber today.

We had Junah, Wrigley and Savannah yesterday because their mom had a funeral to go to. It wasn't their smoothest day. Wrig was cranky and his bad mood spreads like a cancer. Therefore, Junah wasn't as go with the flow either. Savannah provoked Wrig on purpose. Not a joyous reunion, but we had the last month of smooth sailing to keep us focused on the upswing. Jason and I rolled with the punches. We did give each kid had their turn in the "therapy chair." Minor bumps and I didn't flip out. I call that a success.

Back to the sun being out. I think it helps Zeph's "Im the baby therefore I whine" syndrome. He was outside playing most of the weekend. When my Jason and I were folding laundry in our room we could watch Z playing basketball in the drive. He has his bball shirt, his bball shoes, his Harlem Globetrotter wristbands. He will shoot for hours like this. I could see his lips moving, I raised the window and we eavesdropped:

I will not always be small. (shoot)

I will not always be tiny. (dribble)

I will grow. (shoot)

I will only play soccer until I am big enough to play basketball. (dribble)

I will be sent to the line. (dribble between the legs that was not successful)

The guards will be afraid of me. (rescuing stray ball)

I will not be stopped. (dribble)

I will not always be small. (swoosh!)

Sometimes I wish he would always be small.

I'm tardy. Happiness is my excuse.

Valerie asked me where my post was yesterday because its part of her day. Sorry to disappoint. I was lacking in both inspiration and free time.

Today is Saturday and I am content. I prepped the kids thoroughly before going to bed:

Mom: What are we NOT doing in the morning?

Kids: WAKING UP MOM

Mom: And what else are we NOT doing while keeping ourselves occupied in the morning?

Kids: POURING CEREAL OR JUICE. (*I have learned from my mistakes... there are cereal bars and juice boxes awaiting them in the a.m.)

ahhh.... It worked. I slept well. (confession: I just typed "I sleeped well" and almost left it. i am clearly relaxed this morning) That whole crappy sleep thing can really throw you off. This morning Jason and I have scheduled a day of goofing off. We will do our chores tomorrow. That is why our bedroom looks like the dryer threw up all over it:

Its cold here and its almost April. I sat in the closet for a moment and considered moping. Jason kissed the top of my head and left me there to battle my demons while he made coffee. I bravely stood up and put on a summer dress that I love. It makes me happy. Of course, I had to put leggings and a cardigan on so I don't shiver all day. I hope I don't look like a Golden Girl castoff.

So today I need to create some fun. I think I will take my few spare pennies to the Half Price book store. Even the kids love this place. And I think the living room is telling me: BUILD A FORT IN ME. I'd like to paint the dining room's western wall bright red today, but that will wait for another day.

I am not a big fan of extended arm self portraits but I am digging the flower in my hair. Miah picked it for me...

This is me: happy. (I'm the one on the right.)

I think Jesus would like people to stop claiming to be his representative if they suck out loud.

Over at Suddenly Routine she was accidentally included on an email list from a sorority. She posts some of those emails, which are HILARIOUS. One such golden line is "In the future don't be idiots." Good Stuff.

So, in that spirit I will share some post comments that I have received in the last week and selfishly kept rather than publish. These are supposedly from my ex's girlfriend's sister. (Did you follow that? Its kind of like a cousin's brother-in-law's neighbor.) I have never met her and don't even know her name. She is apparently my newest blog follower. Any site hit registers on the counter, right?

At first I didn't publish the comments because I wanted to keep the negative energy away. On this blog I vent about things from time to time because I know most of you can relate to my blunt honesty. But I like to mix it up with my goofball random stuff and kid stories too. Sure I have some baggage, but who doesn't. My life is great. I don't want to be so heavy all the time. But today I can look at these comments with a new perspective. I think we can all learn a few things from these words, such as:

1. Its important to have a hobby. Some people knit. Some people love movies. Some people blog. Some people sit in judgment of strangers.


2. Kortney made her best decision ever when she removed herself and her awesome offspring from their previous situation to in turn create the wonderful bubble where they currently reside and thrive.


3. God is rockin', cool and loving. Unfortunately all people who use his name are not.

Now for your reading enjoyment...

COMMENT 1:
You clearly have a lot of issues to post such awful things about your children that other's can read!!! Maybe a therapist is what you need and not a site to BITCH about everything under the sun~~you should be ashamed of yourself for airing issues that any so called CHRISTIAN should seek out others vs. posting such crap on the internet for random people to read!! Disgusted!! I don't even know you and your a person that needs major help!! I have worked in a facility where kids are there because of ding bat parents (such as yourself) screw with their heads!!! You are one such parent! I pray for you and hope one day you will appreciate your children~~God has given you children and asks that you PROTECT them! You are doing no such things!!! Please find some respect for yourself and them and get your life together.

COMMENT 2:
No need to welcome Jorja ~ It's her sister who was given the heads up that you have a BLOG and that you have nothing better to do than write about how awful your life is !!! I was curious to see if it was as bad as she said!! Ha and yep it's what you call ridiculous that you'd air all your dirty laundry for absolutely ANYONE to read! Please give your kids the curtosy and keep them out of the view for others to read! I really feel sad for them! You bad mouth their father and have the nerve to act as if he is such a bad person! My gosh I think he looks like a SAINT compared to you!!

COMMENT 3:
Gag me!! You still continue to post such crap!! It's appauling and sad that you'd don't keep your stuff and issues quiet!! I read your blog to get a good laugh!! Freedom of speach is amazing and that you would hide my comments is funny!!! Maybe you realize that what you post should be positive and uplifting vs. oh poor me I've been wronged so I'm depressed!! You need to get over your ex and find FAITH in God vs. Fear!!! God wants you to put the past behind you so he can do GOOD things for your future!! An amazing book that may help you with your struggles, Failure is not the End by Dennis Leonard! You should read it, may help you see that God can't bless those who continue to hold onto their past and All their resentments. Forgive and you will be set free to live a live full of joy!!

Whew. I am so uplifted. This woman clearly wants me to have joy in my life and wishes me the best in Christian love. That's what I'm supposed to take from this right?!

Insanity = Entertainment. I love my "random people" from blogworld. You see my honesty and vulnerability in my words. You relate. You enlighten. You give me wisdom. You encourage.

And you laugh with me when its the only thing you can do. Thanks for reading.

The copay is in the mail.

Its Tuesday not Bluesday

Supply and demand. Here is my hackjob. I think I love it. There must have been some serious gloom and doom hiding in that mop cuz I feel much more awesome today with this shaggy do.

T-Rex is eating a fudge pop in my ear right now and if I weren't so chipper right now I might be dangerously irritated at her slurping.

I sat on my porch swing this evening. My neighbors were jealous of my aura. I could totally tell. I sent them some positive vibes. I'm not selfish.

I think I'm going to start wearing nude lipstick. Right now I wear Carmex or the Cherry Coke lip balm that I put in my stocking from Santa. They both smell better than lipstick, but I tend to lick them which defeats the purpose of moisturizing my lips in the first place.

I found this super hip fascinator/birdcage veil thing (i had to look up what a fascinator was) that I am going to make for my upcoming lovefest with my Jason this fall. Its probably a bit too cutting edge for where I live, but in a few years people will realize how cool it was.

I love oranges. I don't think I could ever eat enough oranges. I once ate nearly a whole 5 pound bag by myself. I had a ton of canker sores all over my tongue after that. Valerie can vouch for this story. Painful, but so worth it. Oranges are awesome.

I am going to buy a lottery ticket today. Someone has to win.

I can now do 20 boy push ups. This is an amazing feat. I'm going to pat my own back now. *pat*pat (Trin just patted my back for me. She is reading over my shoulder.)

A lot of words where I don't actually say much

I just reread my last post. It made me giggle. I am loving the support of my fellow bloggers, but I have to chuckle at the dramatic "people who throw stones" tone I was projecting. My feelings were hurt, but come on already. My ex and his posse hate me. Big shocker. Now that I've stated the obvious lets return to our regularly scheduled programming.

I cut my hair off and it looks rockin. I'm a happy camper.

My blogging needs a fire under its butt. I'm going to work on that this week. I will be reading other blogs for inspiration. No pressure.

One more comment on my bonkers ex situation before we let it ride. I would like to mention that if I chose to I could give some gloriously entertaining (albeit nauseating) excerpts of the insanity that was my former life with Superdad. It could be fun. We could all judge and post about how disappointed we are in his behavior. And there is nothing that "they" could do about it. "They" could send comments just to have me reject it. It could be therapeutic. I could feel avenged... but me and my flippin conscience.

When my kids are hurt that someone called them stupid, or said they have cooties, our standard response: "Is it true? no Then why do you care what they say about you." I will follow suit.

so so sad

As I've mentioned before this blog has been my safe place to vent, chat, laugh, whatever. However, there are people out there that have nothing better than to do but throw stones. So, my blog is their new pet project to find a way to bash me.

I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect.

But, my children and I have been wronged. I have not given the long drawn out, drama filled, police reported detailes of my previous marriage. I just didn't feel it was necessary. I am in the right and I have no need to defend my self. I will tell you that I have sole custody of my four children. The courts do not award this without good reason. They feel it is best for both parents to be in a childs life and I am in full agreement with this, unless those children are in danger. That should explain it all.

Now I am under attack by my ex's circle of friends. The funny thing is, if you were in his shoes and really were angry about not having access to your children would you:

a) go through the courts. Establish that you are stable, caring and have the childrens best interest in mind. Demonstrating your ability to cooperate and be mature.

b) call everyone and their brother to claim the injustice that has been done while not actually doing anything FOR the children.

c) call names, pass judgement, be irrational, threatening (which is why there is a restraining order still in place...)

d) choose to place a phone call once in a blue moon to "show your interest."

I think the writing is on the wall.

Happy Sunday everyone. I am going to spend time with my family and reassure them that they are safe.

not sad that I was sucking

I have barely blogged. Bad bad blogger. But I don't feel guilty. Love that.

Instead I ease right into my wonderful world of words on the web. (on an alliteration kick today) Life is unsteady, stressful, and I feel fine. That is worth celebrating.

So, here are a few things I would "give cheers to" today because they are bringing me joy.

1) Lucinda Williams. I dig her music. She's gritty and delicate simultaneously which is a perfect description for how I feel 82% of the time.

2) Hair cuts. I like to cut my hair. A lot. I like the sound the scissors make severing my strands. I like to cut my own hair. I can do exactly what I want, how I want, crazy as I want. Now my Edward Scissorhands moments do have drawbacks like having to grow out my occasional screw ups and the difficulty in seeing the back of my own head. I've put down the scissors and grown out my pixie cut, determined to be a fall bride with long flowing locks. But yesterday I realized that I do not have my long permed teen hair. I have 30 something thin hair that looks best short and shaggy. So I'm getting a cut. I may actually breakdown and have the first cut done by a professional, or just someone who can see the back of me. But I WILL be maintaining on my own after that. Why pay someone else to take away one of my pleasures. That would be like paying the kids to eat my coffee ice cream!

3) Small breasts. Today this makes me happy. I have had major breast issues for, i don't know.. forever. Its not just that I'm small, but I've had four babies gnaw them down to nothingness and they weren't much to begin with. I now have to roll up my remaining breast tissue and put them in my training bra. But I am ok with them now. I just played some basketball with Zeph in the drive without a bra on, because i can. I have a low cut blouse that I picked up at Goodwill and it looks sophisticated/sexy instead of sleazy cuz there are not massive fleshies peeking out. I'm ok with these bitty boobs today. (Of course I probably wouldn't snub an opportunity to put them back to pre baby bumps.)

4) My kids are weird. I love this about them. All moms are supposed to think their kids are the cutest, smartest and most talented. I am not that mom. I know of the 7 who is booksmart and who will always struggle in school. I know who makes friends easiest, who is a loner, who is an athlete and who is a clutz. But overall I can say that I like how most of them are weird.

Miah creates her own fashion trends that do not make her popular in school. She had "Tokyo Street" (my fave) and recently finished her Bag Lady Chic look. I let her express herself and learn the positives (feeling independent) and negatives (being teased at school).

Junah took the same thing to show and tell for 6 months. It was an imaginary parrot that sat on his shoulder. He never brought the parrot home for us to see. I like this.

Trinity slept with a homemade snow globe on her head. I asked her why the next day and she said "to get green dreams." Hmm. ok.

Zeph picked a day to walk backwards all day. When I asked him why he said "because this may become a sport someday and I want to be really good at it so I can win."

These are cute kid stories. It makes me like coming home.