Its hard not to be the Mama Bear. When a bully picks on your child, you want to kick that mean kid in the shins and lecture his parents. I thought it would get easier as the kids grew up, knowing I have given them the tools to defend themselves and make good choices.
It does NOT get easier.
Kainon is a giant, but has always struggled with kids bullying on him. (Thankfully none recently.) I've tried to stay out of it for the most part because having your mom be your body guard when your 6 foot plus is in no way helping your rep in junior high.
I have tried to equip my children with a sharp tongue. This is my superpower. I am scrappy (and do a LOT of push ups) but I'm on the petite side, not to mention that I bruise easily. I don't fight. However, my grandmother and mother have given me a quick mind and wit. If someone picked on me I could usually shut them up with my intellectual retort. I have tried to give Kainon some "zingers" for his arsenal, but he tells me "Mom, I can't think as fast as you."
*Disclaimer: I do not promote my children insulting others or mimicking their mothers love of sarcasm. These lessons in verbal weaponry are for self-defense purposes only.
When I picked up Miah from daycare she was fighting back tears and the other school age kids in class were getting lectured on hurting people's feelings. uh oh. Miah informed me that there was an insult war on the playground that got out of hand. (What?!? An insult war is an actual thing?) When Miah was done with the war the other kids weren't. "Mom, I tried to calm myself down by doing yoga and then everyone attacked me saying 'yoga is stupid. china is stupid. your mom is stupid.'" Granted, if I was making fun of someone and they then began doing yoga, it would be hard to control myself from not taking that pitch and hitting it out of the insult ball park.
Now while I wanted to march back in that daycare room an enlighten these kids on how they were realize how cool my daughter actually is, I instead tried to teach my daughter the concept of don't dish it if you can't take it. Clearly, she was insulting others too, but they were better at it (and their skin is thicker.)
Oh my, I guess everyone has to go through lessons. As a mother I know that wishing we could keep them from it.
ReplyDeleteI sympathize with you son. I don't think fast unless my mind is all warmed up. It's frustrating to think of good replies a day late.
You are wise with your children and you are all lucky.
I sympathize with Miah, but man...I have to laugh. One of your many gifts is your quick wit and sharp tongue. I've often said to you that I can't come up with things as quickly as you can. You are a master. I think you should give a class.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting day
ReplyDeleteYou are wise, oh sharp tongued one. I have a feeling your little ones are learning at the feet of the master of smart retorts. I can so empathize with your son and daughter though. I’m not always as quick as I’d like to be with a snappy comeback either. They’ll find other ways to cope.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, your Miah cracks me up. Yoga? Really? I love it.