parenting fail

Zeph runs in the house screaming. (I see through the window that the other kids aren't even reacting to his crying, so its safe to assume nothing is really wrong.)

Zeph: Miah punched me in the eye!!!

We know Miah has anger management issues on occasion...

Me: Miah, get in the house!!!

Here she comes, looking annoyed that I interrupted her...

Miah: What!!?? He yelled in my face that he wanted to fight. He swung at me and I hit him.

Me: You're dismissed.

Back to Zeph

Me: Stop trying to fight everyone. You are going to get hurt.

Time passes until evening when the kids are all watching tv, while My Jason and I are making dinner. Zeph starts to mess with Trinity, trying to egg her on to fight. Thats it. He has to learn a lesson. She is bigger and tougher than him. He is going to get hurt. Maybe then he'll learn to stop picking fights.

Me: Trinity, you are free to hurt your brother and not get in trouble for it.

She is clearly intrigued but not quite trusting the free pass. Zeph takes a lunge at her middle. Trinity is laughing and tossing her little brother on the floor after each advance, but she keeps watching Mom and Dad for a reaction...

Trinity: Really? You're sure?

She continues to toy with him, but is nervously laughing. Its clear that she thinks we will pull the parental rug out from under her, and that this is a trap.

Junah: Just punch him in the face and get it over with.

Jason: No coaching from the sidelines.

This is not working.

I'm getting desperate to get this "lesson" over with.

Me: Zeph, do you want to fight Miah?

Zeph: YES!

Miah: Can I hurt him?

Me: Yes, but make it fast please.

Zeph lunges. Miah slaps him. He is stunned, but trying to play it cool. He goes for her again and she knocks him in the same eye from earlier. (She has clearly found a sweet spot.) I am thinking to myself how FINALLY he will realize that fighting is painful. Oh no....

He goes CRAZY! His arms and legs are flailing attempting to punch anything within his reach. My Jason picks him up by the ribcage as his appendages keep going like a windup toy, and carries him down to his room. This was a little unorthodox parenting, but I am thinking the desired result of humility is coming until I hear from the basement...

Zeph: I WANT A REMATCH!!!!

and Kainon: Wow, Miah's good...

I don't think this worked.