lets have a sit down... and you might need a drink

I don't consider myself an advocate for divorce. I just don't believe in bad marriages.

I married when I was 19. I wasn't ready. I was running. I wanted a family of my own when I felt abandoned, blah, blah, blah. I've hashed that one out in therapy already. We were growing up while playing house. I wasn't sure what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like, feel like. I believed that if you made a commitment, then you stuck it out no matter what. That should be a good thing, but I think that last part was my real downfall. Things sucked... a lot...and I stayed.
I had friends that tried to tell me in not so many words that things could be different, I could be happy. I would cut those people out of my life, hide from them and judge them for not supporting or respecting my marriage. (This includes a great therapist who told me to run for the hills.) In hindsight, I am thankful they tried and wish I had at least considered listening. They weren't being hateful, they were being good friends.

Fast forward to my current situation:

I am madly in love with My Jason and the way we live our life. We talk. We respect each other. We work together. We are constantly laughing at the absurdities of life, including our own. I once thought this was the "newlywed" phase of dating, but its not. This is who we are. We are soul mates (realizing you may need a barf bag now)

We don't have an easy life. We have drama and issues with our kids. We have struggles on blending our families (ugh, remember my many venting posts.) We have work and money stress. But we can disagree and discuss maturely (and immaturely for fun). We belong together. Our kids are witnesses to this and I think that is awesome. I want them to know that this is what they can have.

So now its hard for to me to witness crappy marriages. I want to shake these people and say "FIX THINGS OR STOP WASTING TIME!" If there are problems in your marriage then address them, work on them together and put things back on track so that you can enjoy the life you have with each other. If there is no fixing to be done, then agree to move on so that you can find where you belong. Both partners need to be on board. One partner can't fix things.

I am not saying that I need a talk show or to write a book.
I am not saying that every union needs to look like mine.
I am not saying that people should throw in the towel without trying.

I AM saying that life is too short to be mediocre.